The Witness Protection Program

At some point or the other you've probably wanted to get away from it all. Maybe it was work stress, family stuff, juggling too many schedules, financial difficulties, etc. For my 40 and over readers, you may remember the 70s commercial for Calgon detergent and their famous tag line “Calgon take me away!” That's how I've felt lately. Actually, there have been times when I just wanted to hide in a sort of witness protection program.

Let me explain.

April 7th marked six months since my wife, Carole, went home to Heaven. During that time my girls didn't see our 23rd anniversary happen. I took the girls to Disney World (a trip Carole planned last summer) and then we endured Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year. We celebrated Carole's January birthday with a hike with friends. I survived Valentine's Day. We celebrated Lily's March birthday. Then we spent the six month mark with my sister and her family.

The six month milestone has been unlike the other milestones I've endured already. Until this month every milestone was difficult in the days leading up to it, and then the actual milestone wasn't too bad (relatively speaking). However, this milestone has been difficult on a level that I can't describe. The entire month has been an up/down/sideways/twisting course of emotions.

To be honest, everyday is a milestone. It's another day that I have to figure out without Carole. Some have told me, "It'll get better with time” or “Time heals". They are well-meaning and well-intentioned, but I'm not feeling it. At the time of this writing it will be almost seven months and I realize that this journey is, well, a journey. I don't know when it will end. However, I do know that it is temporary in the grand scheme of things.

Sometimes I've just wanted to go into hiding to get relief from the pain. I guess you could say I've wanted to be "off the grid" or as I said earlier to be placed into a witness protection program.

As a Christ follower, I know that He is with me in my sorrow (Psalm 23). Instead of going into hiding, I've decided to share my journey as a way to help me process what I'm going through. One of the things I've learned is that God has surrounded me with a cloud of witnesses that are supporting me in ways that I can't begin to fully describe.

Hebrews 12: 1-2 says, "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." NASB

I don't want to take Hebrews 12 out of context. That "therefore" in verse 1 is referring to Hebrews 11. The Triumphs of Faith are listed there. But, I can't help thinking that in the here and now, I'm also surrounded by a great cloud of living witnesses of the faith. So, I guess you could say I have my own witness protection program.

My cloud of witnesses is made up of specific Christian family and friends that listen to me, hug me, cry with me, and sit silently with me. My cloud sits in a pew with me on Sunday mornings so that I'm not sitting alone. My cloud invites my family over to lunch every Sunday and has welcomed us into their family as one of their own. My cloud has widows and widowers whose friendship, support, love, and encouragement come from a deep place of understanding, genuineness and familiarity. My cloud makes me laugh. My cloud is made up of an army of homeschool moms that loved Carole and loves our family, and provides tremendous help ensuring that my youngest is stilled homeschooled while I'm starting a new career. My cloud has helped me with my new business - offering support, encouragement, friendship, mentoring, and even becoming clients. My cloud texts me a word or prayer of encouragement everyday. My cloud keeps Carole's memory alive by speaking about her often. My cloud reminds me that God's promises are true and that He is faithful even when I have a hard time hearing Him.

I don't know what life would be like without Jesus and my cloud of witnesses. And I'm thankful that I don't have to find out!

So, who makes up YOUR witness protection program?

Whatever you're going through right now take time to do the following.

• Identify your cloud of witnesses and write down their names.
• Tell your cloud of witnesses that you are thankful for them.
• Thank God for your cloud of witnesses.